Everyone keeps saying that it's going to be all right. Everything will work itself out in the end. I need to believe that that. I need to understand that, and have a little faith in the fact the sometimes I don't know what is best. I don't. I need people t guide me, and luckily I have the best friends ad family in the world for that. I made a huge mistake, and I realize that. Sitting here torturing myself about it isn't going to make anything better. Nothing is going to change while I'm sitting here driving myself insane. I can't change everything in the world. I can't always have what I want, no matter how badly I desire it. This is something I need to understand. Until I figure that, I will put the Beatles on shuffle, and let that drown my worries out.
Today was filled with mixed emotions. There were some trials, and a letdown here or there. I came back to my apartment feeling really downtrodden- wanting to crawl in to bed, and not come out until Saturday rolled around. But then, just like that, it all changed. Lindsay had a c-section today. And just like that, I have another baby cousin.
It was upon hearing this news that my mood shifted. No matter how sad I was feeling, or how badly I wanted to throw a pity party fr myself, I couldn't help but smile. This little, beautiful life was brought into the world today. She is something pure, and full of all the hope of the world. She has every opportunity at her tiny fingertips. And it is this fact that made me realize: no matter how I may be feeling, there is always going to be something to make me smile. My family, my friends, the love of someone new coming into this world. I'm still trying to figure out my feelings, trying to figure out where I stand, and how to correct the mistakes I've made in the past. But as for now, fact of the matter is I am where I am. This is where my path has lead me, and it will be just another chapter in the history of my life.
John Lennon once said "don't you know it's gonna be alright." And you know what? It just might be. Until then, I'll just have to remember to breathe and take some baby steps.
I like the post Kaitlin. It sounds like you and I both have a little in common. I don't know what's going on in your life, but I've been told and I've always believed that everything will work itself out. Sometimes we forget the people we have around us that will help us through the hard times, but you will get through them. I know you and I know the kind of person you are. You are the type of person that can push through what's hard in life and get to where you need to be. I hope everything is good, and just remember I've always got my phone with me :)
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