she dreams she's dancing

I believe that when one wants to reinvent herself, she must begin with her hair. Hair can change a person. Blonde is my original: it is where I have come from, and it is the person that I am when I feel most comfortable. It is genuine, it is loving, and it is what makes me feel the most content with myself. When my hair is blonde, it is usually long; as long as I can get it to be. In all honesty, it makes me feel pretty. I am most at home here, and it is also where I am my most vulnerable. When the blonde extensions go in, I am feeling grown up. I am feeling somewhat rather elegant, and I am feeling like I can go anything. When the pink extensions go in I am feeling spunky. I am quirky, and I am feeling like I cannot be touched by the opinions of others. This mostly happens at home. The pink makes me think of summers at home, badminton in the backyard, and the early stages of love. The pink only comes out when I'm feeling very comfortable with myself... and very much like a rebel without a cause.

And then there's the brown; it's a tricky one. I honestly love the brown, more chocolate than dark. I like the way I look with it, even when no one else seems to. They all prefer the blonde. I think subconsciously they know what it means. My momma tells me I'm more striking as a blonde. Which, in all honesty, I'll agree with. The brown keeps me safe, it helps me to fly under the radar. It's like a really big jacket that I pull on, and I'm protected from a lot of things. Brown makes me more sarcastic, a little more quiet, and a lot more contemplative. The brown comes when I want to make a big change in my life. This time, it came after a big change. It comes as part of my reinvention. I know you might think that this is all about my hair, and while it might seem that way, it's so much more than that.

This is my reinvention. This is the most defining moment in my life. This is the first time that I feel as though I have legitimately taken life into my own hands. Into my hands, and out of the temptations of fate. Fate can only take you so far. From here on out, it's me all the way. And that feels so good.